Just recently I came across these saying on one of my social media: "You let your boy play with dolls?? Aren't you worried it will make him ...." I wonder what exactly the person who asked this question has in mind.
I have been asked this question several time when both my sons were little and people saw them playing with the baby dolls or even soft toys while outside of the house, and my response had always been just smiling at them (apologetically - even tho I have no idea why??) But through this post I wanted to share my answer to all of you, whether you asked me because of pure curiosity, or because of your judging my mothering style.. this is my answer. Or maybe if you are reading this and you have been on the receiving end of this question and has no idea how to answer ... hopefully my answer can give you light to your own answer :)
I grew up from a generation where girls play with dolls and boys play with robots, simple as that! It was still acceptable tho, if girls play with robots once in a while, climbed trees, play in the dirts etc - people would just laughed and say "ooh she is a tomboy". Lucky for me! Because that was my label! One I am proud to wear until now - I have no need to be princess haha oooh don't get me wrong, my parents tried to buy me lots of dolls, even barbie, which I do love as well!! I have a whole collections of it.. but I also loved to play robots and in my little girl mind, that is totally fine :)
Unfairly though, if I was a boy, people won't be as tolerant if I play with both robots and dolls! I probably would be called a lot of "ugly name"... it was totally frowned upon.
Fast forward to today, I have 2 sons (and no one to inherit my barbie collection :( ) When eldest son was around 2 years old, he kept asking for a baby, he wanted a baby so much, he carry this little tiger toy around all the time pretending that was his baby! When we went to playgroups etc, I saw other boys went straight to cars/tractors/dinosaurs etc and what was my son aiming for?? YEP!! The baby dolls with the stroller toy thingy!! Was I worried? a little bit, yeah, NOT because I was afraid he will be feminine, but only because I don't want other people to judge me or my boy badly... But the more I grew, the more I think about it, actually I don't owe anyone any explanations! My boys were playing with dolls, and I am fine with it.
Just like when girls play with dolls and pretend its their baby, then boys can also play with dolls and pretend its their baby... it really is a good practice for them when they become dad and have their own real baby :) It helps them to become a good big brother - exactly just like my first son was to my second son! It helps them to learn to be loving, to be kind, to care! It makes them happy, and as we all know, a happy child grows up to be much more balance than unhappy ones :) If playing with dolls make childhood enjoyable for them, then.. why not??
In the end, in my opinion, what makes a boy grow up to be a man is NOT what he played with during his childhood. A child who felt safe, who felt accepted, who felt loved for who he is, will be a happy child, and he or she will grow to be a much more balanced and happy person too :)
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